How times change

My Oh My how times change… First I fell deeply in love, then he freaked out and ruined the honeymoon period. Then in reaction to all his negativity and comments about how I was “too much” and I needed to calm down I started to pull back and smile less. Then I started to cater to him and forget about myself and my happiness but still love him with all my heart and soul. Now I am tired of being unhappy and crying. I am tired of not smiling or having fun. I am tired of no intimacy and the wide space between us.

I did something I never thought I would do again. I purchased a bathrobe to wear around the house to and from the shower. I feel odd being naked in the house and around him now. I feel like I need to hide myself since we aren’t kissing or having any physical ness. It just seems wrong to be naked anymore.

I used to hear “I love you” all the time and now I rarely do. We used to kiss all the time and enjoy it immensely. Now I get an obligatory on the mouth peck before work (sometimes) and maybe if I am lucky it comes with a hug), usually it’s a kiss on the forehead and a noogie. He used to call me by my nickname he gave me, now I am just the GF or girlfriend.

I feel like we went from lovers to friends to roommates. I don’t know if we are still friends but I know that we aren’t lovers anymore. I don’t know if we can ever be again.

How do you come back from a sexless relationship?

How do you come back from a sexless relationship? How long do you stay in a relationship when you don’t get sex and you want it? What does your relationship mean when there is no intimacy, are you just friends and roommates or are you still in a relationship?

The longer the relationship goes on the more the thoughts go through my mind. Will we ever have sex again? Will I wait that long? Can I wait that long? Do I really deserve more than what I get?

How long will it take “IF” he goes to both mental therapy and to the doctor to work on the physical problems? Am I thinking another 6 months +… How do you go years without sex in a relationship and still be happy and content? I am not happy nor am I content. I love him and I enjoy spending time with him, but I still want and desire more from him and it hurts me that I can’t get it (regardless of the reason).

Edit/Update: Me and my mathiness have been calculating how much of the relationship has been sexless and how much has been negative. The results made me sad.

Time Together in a Relationship: 15 months
Honeymoon Stage: 3 months (20%)
Sexless Relationship: 5 months (33%)
Negative/Struggling/Little to no Sex: 7 months (46%)

Merry Christmas from Ginger my Reinpin

Questions about Sex…

Do you ever wonder if other people have sex the same way you do?

Do you ever wonder what is normal when it comes to sex?

When it comes to sexual health – what is normal and why is it difficult to talk to your doctor about it?

When you have pain with your sexual organs why is it so hard to talk to your doctor about it?

Now the big question that I need help answering…

What do you do when you want/desire sex with your partner but they don’t even think about it, let alone want it or desire it? What do you do when your partner feels nothing during sex and only does it to make you happy? What do you do when your partner has pain in their sexual organs but doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it?

I am not a person to go out of the relationship and cheat or do it willingly. I want to only be sexual with my partner.

Why do I feel guilty for staying with someone that doesn’t/can’t have sex and doesn’t get help? Why do I feel guilty for wanting to have sex with them? Why is not having sex more of an issue than having too much sex?

Can you have a good relationship when there is no sex? What if there is no intimacy?

Please only respond if you have some good honest advice. I have been working with my therapist on things, but I feel I need to branch out.

Holiday Min Pin Photos

Holiday Min Pin Photos…

New Dog Baby

We have a new dog baby… His name is Sasha and he is a 6 year old Greyhound. He is a big lover and is getting along great with Ginger.