Priority or Not a Priority…

Your words tell me that you love me and that you want to be with me. Your actions show me that I am nowhere near priority in your life. I am tired of people using words to tell me that they love me and want to be with me and have their actions tell me that I am not that important to them and not a priority to them.

I think it’s time to cut the threads and walk away from my love. I am so beyond in love with you and have made you a priority in my life. You have not made me a priority in your life and I think I am now ready to walk away with what is left of myself and my heart.

I am damaged… yet again by actions not following words. Why can’t people use actions that follow their words or visa versa? I just once want to meet someone who can tell me with words that I mean the world to them and have their actions show me the same thing.

Fantasy vs Reality

I deserve a partner that wants to see me as much as I want to see them. Someone who doesn’t feel the need to lie to me to not spend time with me. I deserve someone who wants to share their life with me and merge my life into theirs. I deserve a relationship that I can feel secure in. I deserve to be lived, admired and cared for. I deserve a relationship where I matter. I deserve to be treated like a human being and a woman. I deserve security, love, laughter, smiles and happiness. I deserve a partner that is independent, financially able to take care if themselves, humorous, loving, caring, sweet, gentle, kind, a bit crazy and very quirky.

That is my fantasy. I dream about this. My reality fails to even come close to my fantasy.

I can find love, but it’s never enough nor is it returned to the depth I give it. I am looking for a partner to share my life with. I find people who don’t want to share, (be it with just me or with anyone).

Maybe I am asking for too much. Maybe I am being greedy to care about the person inside and not the outside. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe…