Slimpickins's Weblog

June 27, 2013

Daily Struggles

Filed under: Emotional Stuffs — Tags: , , , — slimpickins @ 12:29 pm

The main problems that we have…
1) Being out of heads and into our hearts. Being in our heads breeds doubts and negativity and second guessing. Makes us unhappy and simple things become complicated.

2) Making sex a priority.. We have both been used for sex and don’t want to put each other in that position. He never wants it (hormonal issue we are trying to medically treat) and I always do (for the first time ever, this is so strange). We can go a month without any physical intimacy. After long period of times without and sex I especially get cranky (like now) which makes it tougher.

We struggle daily with these problems.

When I didn’t want sex it was always readily available, but I was not willing to have that physical and emotional connection with just anyone.

Now that I want sex it is not readily available. I am ready for that physical and emotional connection with my partner.

We do great when we are able to get into our hearts and just “BE”. Sex happens more and we are happier, healthier, and sleep more.

June 15, 2013

I cry and I try and I give up

Filed under: Emotional Stuffs — Tags: , , , , — slimpickins @ 10:00 pm

I have learned that in life you have to change your dreams and desires as you grow older and times change. I have always dreamed of and wanted to be married. I thought I could have the perfect for me life and settle down in a nice house with dogs and goats playing in the yard. I got married once to the wrong man and it was more a nightmare than a dream.

I still wanted to get married again and was looking for the right husband this time. I based my decision of whom to date on if they would be a good husband. I wanted to get married for one reason and one reason only…I want somebody to want to be with me enough that they will sign a legal document. This is important to me because from my past most men have only wanted me for sex and not the real me. I want someone who wants the real me.

After long consideration I have decided that no man is going to want to marry me, so I have given up on that dream and desire. I am just not the marrying type and I will face that with as much dignity as I can. I will never have the wedding I dreamed about and that will have to be okay with me.

June 4, 2013

Partner Wishlist

Filed under: Emotional Stuffs — Tags: , , , — slimpickins @ 5:04 pm

Here is what I am looking for in a mate/partner/lover…

funny, kind, sweet, independent, likes cars, likes to hike (but not crazy), likes to have fun, dances or willing to learn, likes to camp, likes dogs (Ginger), wants to travel, wants to improve themself, has a job, has a license, wants to have sex, likes to stay at home and go out, likes music, likes movies, likes amusement parks, likes water parks, smart, intelligent, touchy feely, sensual, open, willing to cry in front of me, likes tattoos and piercings, has tattoos and piercings, doesn’t guilt trip, doesn’t manipulate, doesn’t lie, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t drink a lot, doesn’t want/have children, wants to get married, someone who likes to have fun and be dorky and retarded and playful, doesn’t self-deprecate all the time, some physical attraction, likes card/board games, likes video games

bonus for liking goats, working on cars, liking motorcycles

June 3, 2013

Grumble Grumble Grrrr

Filed under: Emotional Stuffs — Tags: , , — slimpickins @ 11:14 am

I am so frustrated with everything… because we like most of the same stuff.
I just want him to get out of his head… get counseling and get this Testosterone stuff fixed and get my man back. I find that I am having more trouble enjoying time with him becuase I am worried and waiting for him to pull away again like he has been doing. Weekends are great.. weeks suck and I find myself fretting the weeks and it spoils my weekends.

Why do I always end up feeling like I am not enough? Why do I let people make me feel this way? I feel spineless sometimes.

How do I get it all to stop without letting him go?

Storage unit secured

Filed under: General Life Updates — Tags: , — slimpickins @ 7:18 am

So I have secured a small storage unit for moving items into beginning in 2 weeks. No storage at my apartment and a year and half later I am tired of tubs throughout the house for storage.

Moving camping items, decorations, sewing stuff, and either costumes and/or books. Along with the stuff from my fathers house to get it all in one place and safe for whenever I can get a house. Easier to sort through as well.

My pictures and keepsakes will stay with me in the house in tubs as not really room to put them out.

Might get rid of my dressers and desk too finally. Guess I have too much stuff.

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