Annoyed and Upset

This has not been my year and it seems things just keep getting worse. I used to be an optimistic person, carefree and happy. Over the last year and a half I feel that I have slipped into a pessimistic stage, always stressed and unhappy.

I feel like I hate 90% of my life, and I don’t like that feeling. Today has been the only Friday the 13th in the history of my life that has not brought me good news. This is very upsetting to me, as I generally love Friday the 13th.

Things at work aren’t exactly going in the direction that I want them to. School and work take up all of my time, so I don’t see my friends or family when I want to. I have to struggle and strategize my time with everyone in order to spend any time with anyone.

I need to make some changes, but I am not sure which changes to make. Grrr…. this is crappy.

Feeling Sad and Depressed

So far this year has been the crappiest year ever. My beloved grandmother passed away last November (a few weeks before Thanksgiving). Then came January and my ex-boyfriend passed away. For some reason this hit me a lot harder than I expected. He was only 26 years old, granted he had been battling End-Stage Renal Failure for most of his life, but it still was quite a shock.

I have not felt the same anymore. I am torn between my brain tells me that I need to do and what my heart says I should do. I seem to be less optimistic about things as I used to be. I seem to get upset and agitated at every little thing. Am I just getting worn out and tired of the same ol same old routine? Am I taking on too many task at once? Is work and school too much for me handle?

Maybe I just need to listen more to my heart and less with my brain. So how would one go about making that switch??

Need to get out dancing…

Okay… so I have been neglectful of my dancing lately (like the most of the last 2 years). I want (scratch that I need) to get out and do more dancing. Only a few problems, 1. the spot needs to be close (damn gas costs) and 2. the spot needs to be free (saving money for the move) and 3. finding someone to go with me that will get out and dance too (I get shy by myself). Please let me know suggestions on places in or around the Renton area. If you would like to get out, let me know. I am even okay with some travel up some places if people are willing to in turn travel back down this way. I was thinking of most likely Saturday Nights (as that is when I am most likely to have the time.

Please let me know of places, or let me know if you are interested.

Just another day

Well it’s been a while since I have blogged. I have been busy with work and other personal things. Most things in my life right now are wonderful, but as always a few are just okay. Once some things get straightened out I will be on top of the world. Well so to speak, anyways.

I am getting excited about my trip to Disneyland in May. I haven’t been there since I was 7 (about 22 years ago). I am excited to see the changes and enjoy some good ‘ol rides and fun. Now keep in mind that I am going with my father and his wife, so not too much fun can be had. I am sad to leave Ginger at home with Tyler for the trip, but I know that she will be in good hands.

Speaking of Tyler, I love him soooo much. He is a great guy, but at times I can tell his age and see sparks of immaturity *but he’s a guy, isn’t that normal?*

12/26/07 Horoscope

Gemini ~ Although you may appear to be taking care of your responsibilities today, you haven’t yet returned to the real world. Your fantasies can be misleading, for they are practical enough to be mistaken for a plan. Nevertheless, there is a huge difference now between your noble intentions and how you follow-through. Even if you fall short of your goal, reach beyond your current limitations.

 Taurus ~ The Moon in your 4th House of Home and Family makes it difficult for you to head out into the real world today. Even if you have big ideas about what to do, it may be challenging to turn your thoughts into an action plan. The over-expansive Jupiter-Mars opposition hasn’t finished messing with you yet, so conserve your energy. You will surely need it later.

 Weekly Love Horoscope: Mon, Dec 24 – Sun, Dec 30

G~Work around the house or dealing with family matters can complicate your social life on Friday and Saturday. The tune changes on Sunday, though, when the Moon enters your 5th house of romance. You should feel relaxed and better able to attract someone special with whom to share a lovely day.

T~Careful planning can pave the way to romance this weekend. It’s not simply a matter of being in the right place with the right person. If you organize your time, you can turn the most ordinary activity into a potential source of delight and make it the opening to a deeper, more heartfelt, connection.

Stress… lessens and rises continually

So, where to start?? How about somewhere near the beginning… So my roommate is gone, as of 12/02/07. So I am technically back to paying all the rent myself and having my own apartment. I think that unless my significant other decised to move in, then Ginger and I will be happy as clams living together. We seem to do better with no roommate (does not include a S.O.) unless we really need that extra money. Which frankly I’d love to have.

Things with me and my beau are great. He doesn’t technically live with me (yet) but he hardly ever leaves. We have been seeing each other for almost 5 months (Jan 8th is close to 5 months). I can’t believe that 1) I have been seeing someone for 5 monts and he just this last month met my bro and mom, 2) I have been seeing someone for 5 months and we have not had a single arguement, major disagreement, fight, etc. This is all new to me, but I am happy about the newness of it all.

I thought I had lowered my stress levels, so I needed to do something to bring them back up (J/K sorta) so I have begun the quitting smoking process. I am not smoking at work and when I do smoke I am down to 4-5 a day. I believe that in the new year I will quit all together. So… Look out and if I get to snippy or mean, just tell me. I may not even be aware that I am doing it. Well… wish me luck…

Seaside, OR Pics

Here are some pics from Seaside, OR over Turkey Day Weekend. Trying out the new camera. These are my favorites of the bunch. I got a new camera for graduation an Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTi (an 10.1 MP Digital SLR).

http://s66.photobucket.com/albums/h269/bmw_0522/Seaside%202007/?action=view¤t=13f73e5c.pbw

or

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7544602@N05/sets/72157603317426150/ 

Busyness…

So it’s been busy for me lately. Work has been hectic, with my co-worker going out on maternity leave one week early. I Had double the work to do, and that is crappy. But at least I am kept busy I guess.

Now why is it that when things start to look up and take a turn for the better…that then something crappy has to happen?

Looks like one of my past debts that was supposed to have been taken care of hasn’t been. It’s still showing on my credit report and what is worse, it was only $100 and it’s showing as $747. I called the company to see if they could shed some light on it, and they have it in their system as $100 and can’t explain the difference either.

Now I can’t get employed by Concur until this is taken care of. It will take at least 5 days to get this cleared up. The Customer Service Rep, is gonna try and have them send me something that states that the amount is wrong while they are looking into just why it is still showing at all.

 So it could be worse, but still… GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Stress Never Ends…

So… I had a decent Turkey Day. I spent actual Turkey Day in Salem with my grandma, uncle, aunt, cousins, mom and my brother. Then I spent the rest of the weekend at Seaside on the Oregon coast with my dad, his wife, my brother, my step-brother and my step-grandma. It was a pretty decent trip and I even got some Christmas Shopping.

I didn’t have e-mail access so I  had to wait until I got home to see what anyone had e-mailed me or anything like that. Wouldn’t you know it, I come home to a bad e-mail. My roommate, (who decided earlier that she wanted to move out in January instead of stay for the whole lease that ends in June) sent me an e-mail that she can’t afford to pay rent for December. Now mind you this give me 7 days to come up with the $480 that is her part of rent. She said that if I would cover it then she would pay me back over the next 3 weeks. She still owes me money from Septembers rent I borrowed her and she doesn’t want to pay utilities if she is not at the house (but still has things plugged in).

There is no way that I can come up with $480 extra in 7 days. So I advised her that unfortunately I cannot come up with that amount by the 1st of the month. Then I advised her that I had no choice but to ask her to either pay rent in full by the first or to move her stuff out by the 1st (so that I could have someone else take over the 7 months left on the lease as a roomie). I do have one option that might consider it, but not without full use of the room. (Now lets hope that they will take the offer, otherwise I have to borrow it from family. I hate doing that anyways, but it’s worse being so close to Christmas)

I guess I should feel bad since my roommate is my best friend, but she put herself in this position. If she wants to be treated like an adult then she needs to act like one and pay her fair share of the bills, and if she can’t then she needs to remove her stuff so that someone else can.

11/20/07 Horoscope

Gemini ~

This could be a very social phase for you, but you need to be careful or you will burn yourself out before the fun is over. Unfortunately, your mind isn’t on the future now, unless you consciously remind yourself to pay attention to it. It’s a smart idea to keep one eye on the distant horizon while you are making current decisions that can sustain your pleasure.

Taurus ~

Conflicting signals stir up confusion today. It appears that doors are opening and you should be able to walk right through them. But something isn’t quite right, for your intuition is telling you that you should stay right where you are. Don’t be so quick to push for more; happiness may be closer than you realize.